Fifty Shades Trilogy

It's being talked about. It's on the New York Times Best Seller's List.  People who've read it said the book was all about sex. My 20 year-old son, who is generally not a fan of fiction books, is reading it. The last two sentences combined killed the mother cat in me.

Fifty Shades of Grey. Fifty Shades Darker. Fifty Shades Freed.  I agree with the reviews I have read that the writing sucks but that, for some strange compelling reason, it makes you want to finish all three.  The constant one word sentences get irritating after a while (You. Are. Mine.).  But honestly, after the first book, you know why you'd want to read the second, and then the third.   

Spoiler alert!

Parental Guidance is highly recommended, if not required. Especially if your child - who can easily purchase this book and will most likely overlook or worse, ignore, the teeny tiny warning label at the back - is a minor.  Fifty Shades is not Mills & Boon or Harlequin Romance.  Sure it's romantic on a certain level (ordinary girl meets young, hot and handsome, filthy rich and successful self-made millionaire who sweeps her off her feet) and psychological on another (nature vs nurture) but on so many more levels, for about 60 percent on the first book, 85 percent on the second and 40 percent on the third, it's sexual - the kind of sexual introduction you, as a parent, would not want your kid to either be fantasizing about, think is normal, or demand a sexual partner to be.  It's BDSM.  Definitely not Sex 101 for your baby girl.

However, an older but still-under-my-roof-I-am-paying-for-your-tuition child would require a different approach.  I know for a fact that my 20 year-old son and his equally aged girlfriend have played hooky but are very much aware that there is a line they cannot cross (which, thankfully, they both agree on) until after they graduate from college.  Since I knew he was reading Fifty Shades as well, I jokingly asked if he actually knew the terms and types of sexual activity mentioned in the book and then gently reminded him to be responsible.  The protective mother in me wanted to say more while screaming "Don't you dare ever engage in BDSM!!!!"  but the respecting mother in me reminded me that my son is smart so I left it at that.   

Raging hormones are definitely difficult to control and the presence of a partner whom one can express and explore one's first sexual desires, fantasies and limitations with can be exciting or exasperating, daunting or dangerous, and numerous more adjectives I would rather not say.  Ultimately, first sexual experiences, wanted or not, affects future sexual expectations.  When each of my children turned fifteen, I took the time to talk to them about sex. With that in mind, I can only hope and pray that my children's first sexual experience with whomever they choose comes from a place of honest intent, a respect for each other's body and equality, an understanding that sex is not just a pleasurable activity but a responsibility as well, and love not just lust.  

Sexually active professional adults, on the other hand, could actually learn something from this book.  Ana Steele and Christian Grey (how could the irony be lost in this?), removed from the sexual content, are both very hard-headed yet they somehow remind us that a lot of issues - real or imagined - can be ironed out if only we take the time to communicate, learn how to compromise, and reciprocate and appreciate our partners.  As a soft porn book (yes, it is!),  it reminds us that sex is more than just an obligation required or given.  While I personally will NEVER engage in any sexual activity involving butt plugs, nipple clamps, whips, spreader bars and the like (yes, they are used in this book!), I am aware that there is a need to constantly excite and discover my partner.                          

On the back cover of this book, lower left corner, white print on black background, a small text  says: Erotic Romance. Mature Audience.  Definitely no shades of gray there.